It's 2017!! A new year, a fresh start. New year resolutions are in full swing and there is a general sense (at least for the first month) to accomplish them and conquer what lies ahead in 2017. But in your little corner of the world no matter how hard you try to push yourself to get on board that train, you keep missing the ride and feel stuck.
Many years ago I sat on the top deck of a cruise ship taking in the warmth of the sunshine. It had been 5 years since my dad had passed away and my mom, sister, aunt and I were on a much needed vacation. My mom was talking with a woman next to her who was a Christian and the wife of a famous race car driver. And somehow in the conversation the woman shared part of her story and her battle with depression and how the Lord was giving her the tools to work through it with the right medication, encouragement from others, and His Word. As I listened in on their conversation I remember feeling surprised that she would be willing to admit and talk so freely about her battle with depression (specifically taking medication). That feeling was quickly followed by an overwhelming sense of relief and camaraderie with this woman.
A few months prior to that trip I had been diagnosed with depression. Ever since my dad's passing I had struggled with how to process and express feelings and emotions as well as trying to find a new normal and to some degree, identity. And the weight of that was taking a toll on me physically and mentally. I felt like I was missing the New Year's resolution train all year long and that life was speeding past me while I remained “stuck”.
With how I had been feeling and my symptoms of 9 out of 10 pointing to depression, the diagnosis was not a surprise to me. But I was struggling with how to deal with it. To go on medication or not? To talk about it or not? Who to talk about it with?
In the Christian culture and even in the world generally, depression at the time (and I believe still today) was a hush hush topic. Something not widely discussed/talked about because there were (and still are) so many misconceptions about it mixed with a lack of knowledge that led/leads to misunderstanding and hurtful assumptions.
Almost everyone has experienced a form of depression at some point in their lives whether for a short time, on and off (seasonal), or ongoing. It can be brought on by trauma, loss, illness, situational, loneliness, health issues, stress, etc. Depression is at an all time high and as this world and our bodies continue to decay around us, it will only continue.
So what would happen if we actually talked about the reality of how common it is?
What would happen if we actually talked openly about our struggles?
I believe we could find so much more daily encouragement from realizing how many others have been/are on the same journey.
I believe we would recognize that our hope is not found in being healed in this life necessarily, but about finding our hope in Jesus and the complete healing we will have in Heaven one day as our bodies and this world become the beauty they were originally intended to be.
When we believe in the Hope of healing in Heaven it takes the pressure off of trying to “fix” ourselves in this life, and when the pressure is taken off we can actually find rest in our future Hope. Then we can actually begin the journey of healing. It is every bit a journey, every facet of that word. It is a process and a yearly, monthly, weekly or daily reminder.
Ah but this is not lost on God. He knows, He sees exactly what tries to steal our joy. And He wants to walk with us where we are at!
The next few posts will focus on sharing my (Beth’s) personal journey with depression. The key word here: “my” journey. Recognizing that there are SO many different forms/levels of depression and so many different ways to work through it. But my hope is that you can find some encouragement, understanding, and/or camaraderie for you or someone you know in these next few posts. And that by openly sharing our challenges alongside our joys we can truly experience freedom.
-Beth