1 Year Of Mediocre Photography

The photo that started it all, about a year ago. Photo by: Hannah Porter

The photo that started it all, about a year ago. Photo by: Hannah Porter

A day passed a bit ago that marked my 1 year of my journey back to photography. I refer to it as a ‘journey back’ because when I was at the ages of 9-17 yrs I was in a fairly consistent stage of being actively interested in picturing the world through a world of pictures. During and after that, a few more of life’s circumstances knocked me down and beat me up and I lost interest in a lot things in life, I lost interest in the beauty of the world, and with that, photography. Some things are phases, others are ongoing curiosities, and still others are lifelong loves. Music is one of those lifelong loves, and though I didn’t fully realize it in those ‘lost years’ of when I wasn’t photographing anything, photography is a lifelong love as well.

I’m what most would call “a creative”, and throughout my life that creativity and imagination has manifested itself in many hobbies, passions, pursuits, interests, and goals. Let’s take a little gander at some other ways my creativity has shown itself throughout the years. Brace yourselves.
 

-My Jewelry making phase: well, I can’t say it was the worst you’d ever seen, but I will say you probably wouldn’t pay 50 cents at a flea market for it. Like, you’d choose a dolphin necklace with yellow jewels for eyes over my jewelry.

-My acrylic painting phase: y’all, this was not my best effort in life, let’s just say it was…abstract.

-My crocheting phase: I’m pretty sure I made two beanies and called it a day.

-My sewing phase: two pillows and I was out, and I’m pretty sure I ‘taped’ one of the pillows and didn’t even finish sewing it.

-My soap making phase: I tried it once, got a headache, didn’t ever try it again, ever.

-My Wire sculpting/design phase: well, I don’t know where the inspiration for this came from, but I made some elven looking bracelets and rings and then realized I needed to get out more.

-My cooking phase: There was a time in my life when I was a wee lass, that I pretended (with a friend of mine) to have a cooking show (just like Rachel Ray, of course, I mean, who doesn’t love some EVOO?) and let me tell you, we got creative (thanks moms for putting up with us).

-My wood-carving phase: To be honest, I can’t say I’m totally out of this phase, it might just be an ongoing curiosity, but I used to whittle away at wood for hours. Greatest accomplishment: a very very rough miniature acoustic guitar, that kind of looked like stand up bass. Win.

-My drawing phase: Again, I still do this from time to time, but let’s just say I’m much better with ink, graphite, and pastels than I am with paint. I’ll leave that kind of art to my friends who are brilliant at it.

-My poetry phase: Y’all I used to be BIG into poetry. Like, all day, err day, writing poetry. I even won some dinky little awards for some of my poems. Eventually this phase turned into writing lyrics (for music).

-My ‘spy’/detective phase: Again, this is less of a phase and became more focused with time. Eventually it manifested itself in a love and appreciation for Law Enforcement and wanting to be that or wanting to help them help others (Chaplaincy). But when I was little, I would pack my backpack full of everything I might possibly need to solve a mystery/crime (including little plastic baggies for evidence...I was serious, y’all) and would ride my bike down our road, set for an adventure.

-My novel writing phase: This is probably my least advertised, but longest running creative outlet. I have written a novel before and still to this day have multiple other books in the works as well. Before you ask, no, I do not have a copy of said completed novel anymore, it was lost in translation in the days of floppy disks and giant desktops.
-My acting phase: this was extremely short lived, as in, one play, one part, 3 lines. Turns out, I’m a pretty extreme introvert and really didn’t like acting, music was one thing, but I left the acting gig up to my sister, she’s great at it. :)
 

Many of these, if not all of them were building blocks towards something else, or building relationships with others who were actually good at the things I failed miserably in. Each and every one of those strange phases taught me valuable lessons about life and about myself, even if it was just about knowing my own boundaries or needing more patience. More importantly, at the time, they all made me express something, something that maybe only I knew, but I was able to get it out in that brush stroke, stitch, piece of wood, melody played, words strung together, lines drawn, etc. Those short term phases helped me discover, realize, understand, and more deeply appreciate my lifelong loves.

When I picked up my camera again for the first time in years and raised it to my eye, I didn’t just see the small frame in front of me, I saw the world in an entirely new light. In those moments of seeking the right angle and shooting what I saw, I thought less about my own dreary circumstances, less about the state of the world, and less about depressive matters all together. No, photography was and is not a cure-all, but, what it did do was open my eyes to the tremendous beauty all around me, the opportunities that I was missing out on, and majesty of God’s glory. Yes, photography did all of that for me, not because the camera had special magic in it or because I had fancy equipment (I didn’t and still don’t), but because God opened my eyes, expanded my horizons, shifted my perspective, and gave me HOPE.
 

Beth and I talk about Hope In The Darkness often here on ATN, but we aren’t just talking about something existential or general, we talk about all of these journeys and feelings through the lens of experience and reality. Hope has been an anchor in our family, sometimes it is the anthem and battle cry, other times it is the only word that can be torn from the depths of our soul in distress, and still other times it is merely a whisper in the silence in the midst of chaos. It might come through cooking, baking, drawing, coloring, writing, crocheting, running, chopping wood, painting, making music, DIY-ing, exercising, reading, hiking, communing with friends, swimming, whittling, or riding bikes, however you find it, ferociously latch onto that sliver of hope and DON’T let it go. Foster that sliver of hope, blow on the embers, fan it’s flame and desperately hold onto it. It may feel small and even feeble, but I promise you, someone with even just a sliver of hope can change the world, one small gesture, short phase, or perspective shifting moment at a time. Find your equivalent of what music and photography are for me and make time and space for them in your life. They are healthy, they are good, they are necessary. Take time to look at those things, whatever they may be, from a different perspective, from your unique perspective. A million people can be doing the same thing as you, but those million other people aren’t in your circumstances, don’t have your thought process, don’t have your heart, and simply, aren’t you. YOU have some unique perspective, and consequently, unique hope, that the world desperately needs in this time. Do it because you love it and it inspires you, and because it makes you a better human, but remember, it just might be able to inspire someone else too. So, from my 1 year of mediocre photography inspiring me to do another year, and another many years after that, may you find that for yourself and be as in awe of God’s goodness, and as encouraged as I am. You are beautifully creative in your own way, explore it, find it, express it, share it.

-Hannah

One of my most recent pictures. Photo by Hannah Porter

One of my most recent pictures. Photo by Hannah Porter

Finding Thanks in The Midst of Chaos

Photo By: Beth Waggoner

Photo By: Beth Waggoner

When Life Gives You Laundry

I have found it extra hard lately to take a moment to type out a post to share with you all. I so badly want to encourage or inspire in each post and the chaos of this earthly life has pressed in hard the last several weeks to threaten any hope of me doing that for you. 
There are some weeks/months where I feel like life has me in a box where all four walls are slowly pressing in on me. For a girl who is claustrophobic, this only brings out anxiety and stress in me😨😁. With an ongoing health battle, the winter blues setting in (summer girl over here), and the day to day jobs and demands of being a mom, wife and pastor’s wife; Satan has a way of trying to suck our joy (yes even with the good things in our lives), and make us feel enclosed in a box. And it's here where we can so easily get stuck into looking too much at our own pain or struggles and lose sight of the simple day to day blessings God is laying before us. These everyday things can bring us straight INTO His presence and yet it’s those very things that all too often distract me FROM His presence. 

A couple months ago I began reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Anne Voskamp. In it she was challenged by a friend to write down 1000 things she is thankful for. The Lord has used this book to remind me what thankfulness can actually look like on the day to day from the things greatest in wonder to the very mundane of everyday tasks. And how the very act of hour by hour thankfulness can bring me directly into the presence of God.
These may seem like simple words to you but I have found them oh so powerful and for me, they came just at the right time for my soul to hear. 
 
As I got out my little notebook to start writing down my thanks, I thought to myself “I got this! I will be to 1000 things in no time and then I will be so quick and good at giving thanks in all things that I will just keep going and I will fill many notebooks and….” 
Ha!! My bubble quickly got popped on that one😁. I began daily writing down my thanks and after a while felt like I had written down hundreds if not one thousand things already. But the number in my notebook said otherwise. I looked down to see how far I had come to stare straight at #72. “That's it?”, I thought. Only 72 items of thanks? And I thought I was doing so well. 

In that moment I realized how many things that were passing me by each day that I was not seeing as thanks or that I was choosing not to be thankful for because they seemed like the monotonous things of life that often distracted me from being thankful.
As I reflect back on what I am learning through the process of writing down my thanks, as well as what I still need to continue to learn and remind myself of moving forward I am challenged and encouraged by Psalm 136:3-7:


  “Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
          His faithful love endures forever.
 Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.
         His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skilfully.
          His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who placed the earth among the waters.
          His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who made the heavenly lights
         His faithful love endures forever.”

Photo By: Beth Waggoner

Photo By: Beth Waggoner


Why would I not offer daily thanks to God who skillfully created and placed all the details of this world around me and who alone does mighty miracles? The only One whose love is faithful (never changing despite our ups and downs). The only One whose love endures forever (through the chaos of the day to day, through the uncertainty of the world around us).
And yet how easily I forget this in the mundane of each moment. 

To some degree we all know that it's good and healthy to be thankful for the things around us. Especially as Thanksgiving approaches we are thinking about it more and we remind ourselves to give thanks more often. But what happens when the holidays are over and we are faced with the the day to day tasks, hardships, pressures, jobs, joys, stresses? Do we give thanks even then? 

Piles of laundry to fold, unending dishes to clean, 3 kiddos to feed (who are never full), a meeting to be at (with all my kids in tow😅), a house that needs some part of it clean, a full plate of ministry, a husband who needs encouragement and love, kiddos who are hungry again? Soccer and dance practice tonight. Which class am I volunteering in today? Reading God’s Word while my daughter asks me for a snack (even though she just ate breakfast 5 minutes ago), and my youngest wants me to hold him. But God don't you want me to have time with you?  I look at the clock and see that it's only 10:00am😨😨. 
Does any of that sound familiar? Just pieces of a normal crazy morning and yet already filled with so much that can pull me away from giving thanks to God. 

We often think of the big and the obvious things to be thankful for when asked. But one of the things I was encouraged to do from the book is to give thanks about the simple, monotonous things because that is everyday life. 
I realized that as I began writing thanks about the simple, everyday things and actually stopped to consider them, that it not only changed my perspective on them but it pulled my mind to Christ as well. It naturally drew me into that intimate time with God that I craved simply by thanking Him for the things all around me. Does this sound like a “duh” moment? Or an easy thing to start for you? My encouragement to you is to try it out for yourself and see where God might stretch you. 

And as you do I hope it becomes what it has for me:
-An act of worship (praising Him in all things).
-An act of communion with God (dwelling on thanks in each moment)
-An everyday act that encourages and inspires you as you glorify Him in the moment.

So find a little journal and join in on the journey with me of finding thanks in the chaos!!

Below are some journal entries I have written down to give you an idea of what finding thanks in the everyday might look like.

#18. dance parties with the kiddos
#27. The gift of creativity
#29. Succulent plants that don't die
#33. Laughter of the kiddos
#36. Friends that pursue me
#47. Packages at the front door
#65. A servant hearted husband
#67. Time with a good friend to remind me I am not alone
#70. Ice cream cones on a rainy day
#71. Sticky little fingers to wipe clean
#78. Warm sunshine on a cool day (good for the soul)
#82. The dancing sparkles when the sun hits the water
#90. Toys scattered everywhere, played with, imagination used
#91. Dirty bare feet from playing outside
#95. Dishes, dishes, dishes. The ever full sink of dishes to clean and dishwasher to empty (provided for)
#96. Hymns with deep words that speak to the heart
#97. Folded laundry in its pile
#100. Family walks

Photo By: Beth Waggoner

Photo By: Beth Waggoner

The Power Of Waiting In Line

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No, the store wasn't Target (they are a part of the 21st century and have self-check out, however, I was at the store and took a picture of a store line...for visual continuity. 

No, the store wasn't Target (they are a part of the 21st century and have self-check out, however, I was at the store and took a picture of a store line...for visual continuity. 

A 'Wrong' Moment At the 'Right' Time

Hey Y'all, Hannah here!
As an introvert (verging on hermit), one of the best inventions of the 21st century is ‘self-checkout’. I can go to a store, walk around, get what I went for (and some I didn’t), check out, and never speak to another human, it’s truly fantastic. 9/10 times I will go to self-checkout, yes, even if I have to wait a couple of minutes for it. On a regular day, I really only talk to people while I’m at work, and even that can be minimal sometimes, the rest of the time I am in my car or at home (by myself) and the fact that I can now extend that blessed non-communication in a public place is nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

The other day I was in a store that didn’t have self-checkout *gasp* (I know, what neanderthals), and I was ready to check out, so, like it was the early 2000s, I stood in line. While standing in line, the person ahead of me dropped their glass bottle of pink kombucha and I was inevitably in the splash zone. *SHATTER* I look down and there is glass surrounding me and pink kombucha all on my jeans and the [dirty] white shoes I had just ‘cleaned’. In my head I was just repeating “God bless you and your family, God bless you and your family” towards the customer who dropped the drink. The lady was clearly embarrassed and apologized for getting it on me (as if she had any control of where the liquid specifically went), I assured her it was fine and I stood, frozen, over the glass so that others wouldn’t step on it. All the while in my head thinking, ‘see? This wouldn’t have happened if you just had self-checkout in your dang store!’. The workers of that store were quick to spring into action and go get things to clean up the mess and block off the area. In a flurry of workers and people, the other lady finalized her check out and everything from my basket was transferred to another, less kombucha-y isle. I finally get up to pay and I can tell the poor gal that is the cashier is flustered and frustrated. She asked if I was okay and if I needed a towel or if there was anything she could do for me, I declined on all fronts assuring her I was fine. She went through her customary “did you find everything alright?”, I said yes and chuckled as I blew out a breath, “what a day, eh?”. She gave me a tired smile and sighed, “yeah, been one of those days”. “I’m sorry, off soon?” I asked. “Well, I have closing shift tonight and then have to go study for tests, and just about a million other things to do”, I smile at her and commiserated that I ‘know the feeling’ and cheered that ‘she could do it!’. She finally gave a genuine smile, laughed, and said ‘thanks for the encouragement, and thanks for being so relaxed about this entire situation, we’ve had other spills like this, and well, not all of our customers have similar reactions’. I immediately felt slightly ashamed for the frustration and sass that had been running through my head for most of the situation. We finished up and she had another customer coming, but as I was gathering my bags I said, “Hey, you handled it well! I hope your day is less crazy from here on out and good luck on the tests!”. We met eyes for not more than a moment, but at that moment I saw genuine thanks in her eyes and as she said ‘thank you so much, have a great day!’ something in my brain came on like a light bulb. Yes, if that store had self-checkout, I probably wouldn’t have had to go to my next event with kombucha on my jeans or shoes. Yes, if it had self-checkout I probably would’ve been out of the store faster. Yes, if the store had self-checkout I wouldn’t have had to interact with anyone and everything would’ve been far less ‘complicated’.

Here’s the deal, if it did have self-checkout, I would have never had a chance to be a positive spot in that cashier’s day, and she wouldn’t have had a chance to be that in my day. I would have missed out on a genuine, if brief, interaction and moment for sympathy and encouragement. I would have contentedly gone on my hermit way and missed out on a simple but real and needed moment for both of us. She doesn’t know it, but that cashier reminded me of the importance of going out of my way, even if just a little, to interact with others and potentially share a moment of encouragement and hope, commiseration or a smile. She reminded me that I need to get out of my own way sometimes and be more open to what God is inviting me into, even in the ‘inconvenient’ moments. I haven’t cleaned that pink kombucha off of my white shoes (mostly because I’m lazy and it dried sort of clear), but also because it serves as a reminder for me to step aside (or into a line) and see what God is up to. Now, I am still going to use self-checkout, but maybe just 6/10 times now instead (and for a hermit, that’s sacrifice, man), but that young lady reminded me of something special, the power of waiting in line.

-Hannah

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